Monday, June 25, 2012
I am wondering why for two consecutive nights I cried. It may sound pathetic or OA but I guess it was because of the two movies I've watched. I was affected by stories, the scenes and the lines. Filipino movies for me are still great. The movie I've watched last Saturday night was "One More Chance". Apparently, everybody knew how dramatic and how this movie can make you cry. After watching the movie, I felt sad. I was affected by what I saw.Shameless of me to say, different things came in my mind. I imagined different situations/ scenes as if I'm making the part two of the said movie. Then, someone crossed my mind. When I remembered him, more tears fell. With those tears, I realized that I should accept the fact that I am just an option. There is really nothing, no more. Those tears told me to let go. Move on and keep going. Sunday came and time to move house.We transferred to an apartment (studio type style) which we rented again. It was so tiring and we're not yet finish. Before I went to bed. I've watched "Way back home". The story might sound simple or familiar which is about sister rivalry. I may say that it's not just like that. Lesson learned here is we keep looking for the things we lost and we're not able to see the things that's present before us. There are things/ people might not be with us anymore but there are still great things to come. We just need to look around and see things. These two movies told me to stop, move on and look around.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
I always remember the question that people are throwing at me when I was there with you.
"What is up with the two of you?", I instantly say, "I don't know".
Then after, they will say a lot of things, their assumptions and observations. When I listen to them, they're like poisons to me. I don't know what to absorb and what to let go.
If we'll have a flashback, I can say that I'm always happy when you are around. The feeling of looking at that door and see you coming in. Or if I may say, when I forget the time that you are coming, I'll just find out that you are next to me. I also remember the little things you do which shows me you care. When my tumbler's empty, you get my water. When I feel sick, you give me medicine. When I'm tired, you give me a massage. Those simple acts that make me happy.
Simple acts. Actions that are meaningless? I tried to be valiant but I'm such a coward. I wanted to ask, 'what's up with us?'. Then when I'll see you, I'm mum. Sometimes, things are really better by just being them. What they say are true, there should be no expectations and assumptions. So that, you'll not wait for something. Stupid of me to feel different for you. My bad.
Fast forward to present. I'm moving forward. When I remember those things, they still make me smile. I am very thankful to you. Because without you, I would not feel those things. Thank you for making me feel special. At least once, I've known how to be one.